It was important for me to tell my kids and my family. It was important for several reasons...most bad reasons.
I told my kids because I felt guilty. Their lives were about to be turned upside down and I felt I was to blame for this. It was me who was sending their father away. I selfishly wanted them to understand who was to blame . I wanted them to know that I was a victim as much as they were.
I also wanted to hurt Ben. There is no denying this either. I wanted to humiliate him and show how sick he was. I wanted to ruin his reputation with them forever. And unfortunately maybe I have.
I told my family for a different reason. By the time I told them I didn’t care about humiliating him any more. I was done with that . I told my family because I thought if I told them they would keep me from going back to him. I thought they would stop me from being so foolish and needy and going back.
I thought they would rally behind me and push me to move on to life without him. I wanted them to remind me how unforgivable this was and how I could never go back. He was the in-law doing the unforgivable to their daughter and sister. What I learned, however, is how amazing my family is. How forgiving, how optimistic and how compassionate they are.
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